soulcrossed
by stars-in-wonderland
Summary: What if there was no mel, Jamie was Jared's bother and a new soul was placed in a friend. she finds her way to the caves but will she survive her time there? what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

**I have just finished the host and this idea for this fanfiction just hit me. I thought I'd try it out here it is. I don't own the host but one day I hope to **

I looked at my new face, the most peculiar face I had ever seen. Her eyes small and bright with a beautiful colour of blue; my hair darker then the night of this planet. I touched the pale skin on my cheeks. It was so soft with a tint of red, no fur no scales just smooth skin. It was so different from the last host, the bears had more defences not that they were truly needed but it what I was use to.

I stared at the unsightly scar on my neck, which was the only problem with hosts, scars. I didn't know if I was pretty in human terms but I liked this body. Humans had so much more feelings and even with this simple sight I could see so much more. I wasn't a seeker or a comforter, I never found my calling. Unlike the rest of my kind, I had a more solitary approach to things. I was more adventureous but I was still cautious. I choose Tucson because it was quite close to the desert; I wanted to discover what the others didn't want to see.

I stared at my scar once more; the house of my host still had some human materials which I had learnt was "make-up". I placed some of it on my neck; it seemed to hide it a little almost invisible. I watched birds fly across the window; the creatures on this planet were so interesting. Many were harmless and kind, only wilder creatures like coyotes were dangerous.

I packed water and a few other supplies; my first true day here would be spent hiking and doing what I love. My first steps out side I was greeted by many, souls smiling and waving as I left my house. I drove, my mind barely conscious just staring at the road. A quick turning to the mountain, an old road led to a small area where I was able to park.

I had never taken well to cities, I felt more at home in a place desolate from others. Knowing I could only drink little I had to control my thirst. The body demanded more then it truly needed, it was begging for food since I had been inserted. I ate little disciplining myself for a while.

I walked out into the trees, no path, and every possibility. Every tree I past I had touched it feeling my surrounds, watching everything. I felt so happy here, these few minutes here supplied me with thousands of years of happiness. This planet was just amazing in everyway. My feelings started to die down, a feeling of familiarity phased over me. My head stared to spin, pictures came into my mind. I had been here before but how?

_I laughed, staring at my uncle Jeb. He was always so proud of his house in the mountains. The caves had always taken his interest; he said one day I would make them caves into a city. He was always a little crazy; I followed him to the caves running laughing._

I shook my head, a memory of my host. She was only child in that memory, so many years ago. I looked round, the rock before looked familiar. It was in the memory I had just experience. I went the same way the child followed the old man. It was hard to decide which way I needed to go. At the fourth main landmark in the memory I sat and rest. I treated my self to a few cereal bars; I was starving and nearly dehydrated. I drunk till my throat felt soaked. It was getting dark and I needed sleep, I pulled out a blanket and led down and slept.

_I watched them run; I was out on a raid again. We were running, supplies under both my arms. Ian and Kyle were arguing again, trying to see who could carry more. Jared was already far ahead, most likely at the car. We had to catch up quickly Jared would get impatient as normal._

"_Hurry up, who's driving the other car?" I tried to raise my hand but failed._

"_I'm driving the other car." I tried to keep my voice low; I knew seekers would be close by. "I dropped one of the food bags, I'll go back and get you go on ahead." The others nodded packing the car with supplies. I put mine in the other car and ran back. I saw it by the edge of an ally, it seemed clear then, I ran towards it and grabbed it. _

"_Excuse me, who are you." I looked up slowly, a seeker stared down at me a bemused look crossed his face. "A human!" he yelled. He grabbed me instantly, I tried to struggle free. In my attempts to escape I smashed his face with my free hand, hitting him as hard as my body would hit. He grabbed my head with his other hand and smashed it against the wall, darkness covered my eyes._

My eyes flashed open, tears flooded out of my eyes. My breath turned irregular and fast, these memories, this host, I was a human rebel. The healers didn't expect me to originally awake with no memory of the hosts past. I awoke just myself they seemed pleasantly surprised by this. They has dismissed it as luck that I didn't remember, maybe I was just a late bloomer. I dismissed the old memory as nothing, it didn't change me or who I was.

I tried not to think of the memory or dream I had just had, I just walked following the way as the little girl. Hours past, I was running out of water and food. I knew I should go back but my curiosity was too much not to stop. I walked on ignoring my throat and my stomach, I passed on old cabin ignoring it. I didn't want to disturb whatever might be in there.

More time past and the pain was just worse. My mind was being stupid I should have turned back, I have to turn back. I stopped for a moment, I had to turn back. I couldn't move, pain was just everything now. My head began to spin; my knees dropped and hit the floor. I passed out in that moment.

**Well there's my attempt, it might not be the best in the world but I tried **** Hope you like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

2

"Is she awake? Is she okay?" I heard voices surrounding me; I was too scared to open my eyes. "Be quiet, she's waking I think." I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, faces I remember where there. It took me seconds to realise these were humans, in an instant I crawled to the edge of the cave.

"Alex, are you okay. We've been worried sick. We thought you were taken by them parasites" what a horrible nickname we were given by these violent primates. I remember the make-up on my neck; I rubbed it off so they could see.

"Shit." Only one horrible word and a range of shocked faces, I wanted to know what they thought.

"Jeb, what we going to do now?" a young boy stared at me; the old man of Jeb came through the crowd. I knew him; he was the old man in my first memory.

"Uncle Jeb?" I whispered quietly. He looked at me in surprise, he heard me but didn't reply to me.

"We'll leave her here for now; no one is to hurt her." A large man walked forward, his strong and angered face was also familiar. Kyle, he was the human rebel which I saw in the host's memory.

"Why? Just kill it now." Jeb stared at him, his eyes said everything. When Kyle left everyone else seemed to follow him, I was thankful they were leaving. The old man Jeb stayed behind, he waited for them all to leave before turning back to me.

"Now, what's your name kid?" he bent down, I stared at the shot gun in his hands. I could see him shooting me over and over in my head; I began to shake with fear. I worked up the courage to look him in the eyes, his animalistic eyes.

"Alice." I stuttered to him, he smiled trying to seem friendlier. He pattered my shoulder; I could tell he was being cautious as he shuddered a little on my shoulder.

"That's a nice name, you hungry?" I nodded slightly. "Don't worry any ones going to hurt you, for now." Thanks, I thought to myself sarcastically. Humans had no idea how to comfort someone in fear of their life. I had lived for so long, I was one of the oldest of my kind. I was older then the human species yet I was a hostage to these children. He left, I noticed a shadow by the doorway. Jeb passed the gun to the shadow, I couldn't hear what they were saying I leaned forward to try and hear. I crawled closer to the doorway, my knees silently scraped against the floor. I kept my back to the wall by the doorway.

"Why are you giving it food? We should kill it now the fucking parasite" I had never heard such hate in my life. I guess I couldn't blame them really; we had fixed their planet by taking their lives. I felt this strange sensation in my chest I believed to be guilt.

"No one is to hurt her, my house my rules." I heard his footsteps echo away, the shadow gave a large sigh and stood still for a moment. He peered in through the doorway, I looked at his face he had prominent cheekbones aside a long thin nose and a squared off jaw. Even in my terms he was stunning for a human, his lips were tight together in anger. He looked around shocked, I realised what he was looking for, me. I cleared my throat to get his attention, he looked down to me. As soon as his eyes locked with mine I knew who he was. He was Jared, the man from the dream.

"Jared?" I croaked quietly, he glared at me in shock.

"How do you know my name?" he bent down to my level his eyes not leaving mine.

"A memory." I answered. I couldn't muster any other words to help him. A prying look in his eye took over the hate. He came a little closer, I could hear his hands tighten around the gun he had aimed at me.

"What else do you know?" I had a strange feeling in my chest again, my heart was beating faster. I could stop shaking but not of fear, I was so confused. He shuffled a little closer, I shuffled back till I hit a corner.

"Nothing." I only know four names." His head tilted a little and came closer again. I felt the barrel of the gun touch my stomach.

"Which names?" I wanted to move the gun out of his hands, and just touch him. These strange desires I had never felt before and for a human, impossible. This cave had made me delirious, but I didn't want to leave.

"You, uncle Jeb, Kyle and Ian." I whispered, I could barely talk as I was out of breath. His eyed strayed to the side for a moment, he was thinking profoundly in his head. Minutes passed, I waited in silence for him to speak again. He lowered the gun and gave me one last look before returning behind the door.

I waited silently in the darkness, I moved back to the end of the room. I explored the walls I sat near by, the rock was almost like selves as if I was in a food cellar. Minutes maybe hours passed as I sat in the darkness, Jeb returned once with a tray of soup, bread and a bottle of water. I ate the soup slowly and saved the bread for later. I was thankful for the food; I only wanted some light to see in the darkness. A pain began to rush through my head; I gave a quite loud whimper and blacked out.

"_Just get away from me!" I screamed as I was choking on my tears. The pain was too harsh to even think, I wanted it to end. I had lost everything, my whole family taken over. Now he wanted me to stay here with nothing to me. _

"Alex_ please just stop it. Stay here doesn't be stupid and run out there. The parasites will get you." He didn't see at all, I wasn't going to stay just for him and Jamie._

"_That's the point you idiot!" I screamed again, we were alone in the dark. I fell to my knees crying my eyes out, he hugged me tightly. He hushed but it was more for him. We sat for over an hour crying until he pulled away._

"_Please we all need you, Jamie is so close to you. I can't let someone hurt him again." he kissed my forehead._

I began to open my eyes, Jared was stood over me with his face so close. He still kept his gun close to me slightly pointed. I remembered the dream, I hadn't realised how much we hurt them.

"I'm sorry." Was all I said, I hadn't noticed I was crying. I curled up into a small ball, the sounds of my cries only heard by the human above me.

"Don't cry. It doesn't suit you." He tried to sound bitter but I could tell there was concern in his voice. The concern was most likely for the body, not me.

"Why?" I asked trying to stop the tears pouring out of these eyes.

"you're a parasite, you don't have feelings." he said bluntly, I sat up with a burst of anger.

"I have feelings, I have a heart. Which Is more then can be said for your kind." he punched me hard in the face. he touched my face again where he had hit me and stared into my eyes.

"at least we didn't steal the lives of millions and parade around as if you were gods." He stormed away from me, I was left with pain and guilt. Was this true of us? I led down and closed my eyes, hoping the nightmare would end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Do not own the host…yet maybe my plans of stealing it will happen one day. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

"She's different then what the others were." I heard Jared's voice echo slightly through the caves.

"What you mean?" a deeper voice answered, I had guessed Kyle but I wasn't sure.

"It was crying and emotional, I almost thought it was really Alex." What did they think we were? I admit being in a human gave me more depth to emotions but we do feel no matter what.

"It's just messing with your head." Kyle retorted he almost spitted out the words.

"Maybe." I heard his back hit the wall and slide down, Kyle left with humph. I moved quietly to the other end of the cave, I sat where I thought he would be sitting on the others side. I felt guilty for what I had said last night; I knew it was wrong to say no matter what the truth was.

"I'm sorry." I tried to be as loud as my voice could bare. I waited quietly just listening to his breathing and the slight echoes in the cave.

"Why?" he finally replied, he sounded sad I wanted to know why.

"What I said before" he stood up and looked around the doorway at me. "I know it was uncalled for, I don't know what came over me." Surprisingly he sat next to me, there was a distance between us but I shouldn't hope for more.

"Why does it matter to you?" I shrugged, I avoided eye contact knowing it would make him move away. As normal he tightened his grip on the gun. "Who are you?"

"I'm not a seeker if that's what you mean. I guess I'm a little different." He laughed when I said little, I looked down.

"Why did you come so far from the city, I thought you were all social things?" I decided to try and get a glimpse of him, he was closer then I thought possible. He met my gaze, for a moment I thought I saw no hate. I was mistaken he stood up and walked to the doorway, he waited for my answer.

"I wanted to be alone." He walked away, returning to his post.

Time pasted, Jeb had taken over guard duty. He began to realise I wasn't much of a threat, he talked to me as I sat in silence. He called me by my name, brought me food it was as if he cared a little for me. I guess it had been about 5 days maybe a week at most, Jeb came into my cave this time the gun was in his hands.

"Morning" Jeb stood in the archway, his gun held loosely in his hands. I had become in the need of other human wants. I knew I should ask but I felt too scared and embarrassed. I crossed my legs hoping the pain would stop.

"You've been in here a while." He said. "You need to…"

I nodded.

"Well I could really use a walk myself" he seemed strangely energized by the fact of taking me out of here into the public.

"Are you sure that's okay?" I asked. He laughed at me and walked over to me in big strides.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." He gave me a smile, how I hoped I would get more of them. I followed him through the dark caves silently keeping as close as possible.

"So, I've seen you've been getting quite close to Jared." I couldn't tell if it was a question but I answered anyway.

"More like making him more murderous towards me." He pattered my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I bet one day he'll be friendlier then me." Somehow I hoped he was right, but he would go near me with out a gun. That cold heartless object was the only thing stopping me from touching his skin. I imagined it to be tough like dry dirt but warm like a small flame. These ideas were most unlike me, I shouldn't want a human; a savage evil creature that wishes my death to be slow and painful.

"One day." I could hear the hope in my voice, as could Jeb.

"What is it about him?" I felt his eyes on my face, I avoided eye contact as mush as possible.

"I wonder that myself, he seems so savage but his eyes just look at me with fear and curiosity." I tried to look at his face, he seemed unmoved only smug. He led me through more caves, through more darkness. I began to wonder if these humans had become nocturnal, a silly idea but explained a little about them.

Time had passed, Jeb had already led me to the cave where my "needs" were taken care of.

"Bath time Al?" he looked at me with that smile I had grown to have comfort with, he didn't seem to ever frown. I nodded; my clothes were discoloured with dirt and sweat. The smell was becoming unbearable I thought it would make me leave this body and fly to the origin. He disappeared for a moment and returned with clothes around his arm. A pair of black jeans and a shirt and by the looks of it, it was a man's shirt. A small towel was also folded with the clothes. I didn't complain as he gave me them and led me to a new cave.

Even in here it was dark and almost impossible to see. I found a rock next to the river like thing in the cave. Slowly as if I feared someone would watch me I took off my clothing. Left only in my underwear I tried to find the river, the cold water made me shiver as my toe touched it. I took a deep breath and stepped in, a hiss as the cold hit my pale body.

It felt good after a while as I let the water cover my hair and body, I could feel the dirt leaving me finally. "Where the hell is it?" the voice was quiet but I could tell they were shouting. Jared's voice was distinctive and I knew he was back and looking for me. His footsteps echoed closer and closer. I dipped in the water once more and jumped out. I grabbed the towel as a light shined on me. I adjusted to the bright light only to see his face, pale and shocked. The towel barely covered me, I glared at him his voice unable to escape his throat.

"Please may I dress before you decide to attack me or argue, which ever you prefer." He didn't say anything but turned around, for a savage he had manners at least. I dressed quickly, shoving the jeans and T-shirt over my damp body. I cleared my throat as a signal to him. He turned around and stared again, I could barely see his face his expression wasn't negative. He sat down on the floor, he was silent. His silence beckoned me over so I did as he didn't say.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" He tugged on the sleeve, I looked at his hand. There was no gun, no defensive pose, and no threat which would kill me, only his own strength could bring me harm.

"Jeb gave me it." He nodded once, his eyes looking at the floor.

"What is it about you?" I looked at him in a confused manner. "Why do I…Why." He didn't want to say it but I knew I should let him speak to himself. "I know I may regret this but I need to settle myself." He looked at me, his hand touched my arm. A little droplet of water ran down his hand, his touch made me shiver. His other hand touched my face, a burning sensation ran through my body.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't escape his eyes, they bored into my soul as it he could see my true silver skin shine in my eyes. His face came closer, I became scared this closeness was something I hadn't even experienced this much with a soul. His lips touched mine, involuntarily my lips moved as his did. It felt like a life time through that kiss I almost melted under the heat I felt. He pulled away, the hate and fear which was normally there had vanished, ran away from his heart. His hands dropped away from my body, we stood up together. He touched my waist for a second before leaving. My only thought was _how that was even possible, was it a memory or a miracle._

**Not sure if I should carry on but I hope I will. Thanks for reading :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**is going to definately finish this :) no matter how long it takes **

**"He touched my waist for a second before leaving. My only thought was _how that was even possible, was it a memory or a miracle."_**

It took a few seconds to collect myself; I stared off into the dark cave which he had left through. I suddenly felt a fire burn in me, it wasn't a good fire. I sorted through what little I knew of humans, this feeling was anger and I wanted to let it out.

I followed the echoing steps till a figure appeared before me. "Who the hell do you think you are?" I screamed at him, he didn't move. "What are you trying to do?"

"What do you mean?" he turned slowly and unwillingly. I could tell by his tone of voice that he knew exactly what I meant.

"You hate me, you want to kill me and then you want to kiss me. I don't understand you people." Something I said had angered him; he stormed over to me with fire burning in his eyes.

"I still hate you, that was nothing." He shouted, luckily no one appeared to be around. My mind wondered for a bit thinking where Jeb was, I gave myself a mental slap I needed to stay in this conversation.

"You don't hate me, I can see it in your eyes. You fear me not because I might be dangerous but because you want me and feel that is so wrong because of what I am. You may think I'm heartless and I can't see emotion or feel it but I can. The way you stare, your tone of voice, you regret not killing me because you desire me and this body. Don't you?" my breathing was harsh as were my words but this fire wanted to burn him. I didn't fully see what happened next, his hands tight around my neck pushing me against the cave wall.

"Your wrong, you have to be wrong." His voice broke I could see his eyes welling up with tears. I couldn't speak as he was choking without signs of letting go. Pain escalated from my hand, I had it balled in to fist against the wall. A sharp rock poked out of the wall stabbing my hand, the warm blood raced down my hand and dripped on the floor.

His hands loosened around my neck and fell to my shoulders. One hand lifted and punched the wall by my head. His head limped onto my shoulder, tears poring out of his all too angelic eyes. My good hand lifted to touch his back and press him into an awkward hug.

"You can't tell anyone about this." He muffled from my shoulder. "Please can we just keep this to ourselves." I leaned my head on his.

"Of course, I'll tell everyone you hate me and want me dead. By everyone I mean Jeb." A little motion came to his body, almost like a laugh. He lifted his head, blood shot eyes stared at mine. He looked to my bleeding hand, and lifted it in front of him.

"Sorry." He dropped it and ripped a piece of his shirt then taking my hand and wrapping the fabric around the cut.

"It wasn't your fault." He didn't say anything but just held my hand staring at the crusting blood. He looked at my face again then my bruising neck, he touched my neck regretting the pain he had caused me, this body.

"Al you finished yet?" Jared kissed me again his lips stayed there for a while almost hovering. He didn't look me in the eye as he left, he was just a ghost in the darkness haunting my hostage like life. Jeb returned, the gun held loosely as if he would drop it and not notice its disappearance. He stared at me shock filling his expression.

"What happened?" I began to cry, a river of tears filled my eyes. He sat next to me silently. "Is it the caves?" I shook my head. I actually liked these caves and the mysteries it held my problem was the boy who couldn't bare his heart.

"Alright well first I think we'll she Doc." This name was unfamiliar to me, I guessed from his name he was a human healer a doctor. I nodded without question. My mind wondered back to Jared this strange human man. He desired me or maybe the body, I didn't ever get any sort of feel of him like this in the memories. If he didn't want her then and wants me now, maybe I'm what he wants.

I kept reliving what happened, the way he kissed me, the way his breath felt and smelled as he breathed. I was following Jeb absentmindedly that I walked into him as he stopped.

"Well here we are," he smiled at me. "Doc? You here?" I heard a slight grumble as if this Doc was saying yes I'm here.

"I need you to look at her hand she…" he trailed off staring at me. I guessed after a moment he wanted me to answer what had happened.

"Fell and hit my hand on a rock," it sounded more like a question then an answer, I could tell Jeb didn't believe me but he didn't dwell on it.

"Ok," he stared at me for a moment, Jeb and he switched glances. "I guess I'll take a look." He unwrapped the make-shift bandage and glanced at it with eyes filled with wisdom. His lips were tight together, I knew he didn't want to help me but no one would say no to Jeb.

He removed rock pieces and cleaned the wound. With out any pain killers he decided to stitch up my wound and place another make shift like bandage. My wound still bled for a while but I ignored it.

"Thank you." I said quietly as we left, he only nodded most likely because I wasn't worth talking to as I wasn't worth a real bandage.

"I've decided something." I waited for him to finish, a cheeky smirk was stuck on his face. "I've talked with someone and they have allowed you to stay in their room. That was nice of them right?" I nodded.

"Who?" he put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me; I had seen this sort of action with a father and child in human films.

"Jared." I froze, I thought he want to avoid me. Fear arose in me, what did he want with me?

"Alex?" a voice of what I guessed was a young boy called over. "Alex is that you." He jogged over to us, wide-eyed and smiling. He laughed and hugged me tightly, I didn't know whether to hug him back or not.

"Hello?" I stared at him, he stared back confused.

"This is Jamie…Jared's brother." I stared at him, they looked little a like. "Jamie this is Alice. The "it" everyone is talking about." He jumped back away from me, I wanted to go and hug him back as a motherly instinct came over me.

"Oh." Was all he said as he stared at me with misery and anger. "Can I talk to her or does she not speak much?" Jeb laughed.

"She speaks depends what mood she's in, give her a try." I felt a little like a toy being handed between children.

"Alice, can you tell me about your world?" I nodded, silently Jeb left.

"What about it?" he stood looking awkward for a bit.

"What are you?" he seemed to want to know simple things thankfully.

"A soul, an alien to you really. I'm guessing you want to know why we need these bodies of yours?" he nodded.

"Well we can't survive in your atmosphere so we need to adapt by adding a sort of armour to it. The bodies of creatures on the planet are perfect, most planets we go to are violent and terrible places till we…sort them" my words made it sound cruel, to some extent it was.

"How was she…" his voice trailed off into silence.

"She knocked her head while trying to get away no serious injuries at all." That seemed to cheer him up a little.

"Did you choose her?" I shook my head.

"I arrived just as she was found and they chose her for me." He nodded slightly, he was fiddling with his top nervously. "Please don't be scared of me or hate me." I begged him. I looked at his young innocent face, I wanted to care for him like a mother would.

"I don't think I am. You don't act like they describe you kind of things. They said you were an evil parasite that has taken over and is a real life body snatcher film," Nice it thought to myself. "But you seem like a nice person to me." He gave me a wary smile and stood up.

"You must be hungry." I looked for Jeb who was stood at the edge of the cave, he nodded letting me leave with Jamie. I already felt as if this was freedom, I didn't want to tell them that I wanted to stay till the body grew old. How would I ever tell them the world we tried to erase is the world I want to be in?


	5. Chapter 5

I spent only twenty or so minutes in the food hall like place. I choose to leave early as everyone decided to stare at me. As soon as a walked in the room an awkward silence swept through. I only ate the bread, which was quite fresh; it didn't feel right to eat food that nobody wanted me to eat. Jeb had collected me soon after, most likely some one had complained about my appearance. For once he didn't speak or smile, a fire burned in his eyes, he seemed extremely tense. I was about to ask him why he seemed so angry but we arrived at my destination. A cave with a make shift door, which was barely worth the name of a door, stood before me. He left as soon as he came, grumbling to him self quietly.

I entered the room trying not to break the "door". A large mattress was led in the middle of the room, a large pile of books stood tall next to it. It wasn't very personalised or any sense of belonging there. I sighed, alone again I wasn't sure whether I wanted to be alone or not. I sat on the old mattress it felt so soft compared to the cave floor I was use too.

"hi." I looked up to see Jared standing in the door way, his eyes were red and bloodshot. He slowly walked towards me, he had a large fresh bruise on his wrist.

"What happened?" I stood up as I asked. I took his wrist, he reluctantly let me hold it being careful of my touch. I stroked it lightly, he hissed slightly in pain.

"noting." I sighed.

"Tell me, I may not be completely human but I can communicate and give you someone to talk too." He held my hand lightly being careful not to put pressure on my cut.

"Kyle and I had a bit off a disagreement." He looked at me for a moment. "About you." He finally said. I hugged him but he just stood there, I still didn't let go.

"He said we should kill you. I argued back and he said I might as will be a parasite and I tried to hit him but he caught my wrist. At least I hit him in the dick with my knee." He hugged me back I still felt the hesitation as he was still scared of me.

"You shouldn't defend me, I'm nothing to anyone here or out there." I fell to the ground listening to my own words. I knew I was right but it was harder to hear then I thought. He sat next to me, he hesitated before putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him.

"That can't be true." I laughed.

"Everyone here wants to kill me and I never truly made friends with my own kind. No body has noticed I'm missing have they? So what am I to anyone?" he kissed my head and kept his face against my hair.

"I care about you." I looked up to him, he never said he cared about me before. He sounded like he meant it. "So maybe I wanted you dead, can you blame me?" I shrugged but I got he meant it like a joke. He put his hand under my chin and pulled me in to kiss me, he did hesitate this time. His lips were soft and gentle against mine but this time he didn't pull away. Our lips moved in perfect synchronisation, warmth filled my chest, a want for this moment to never end. His hand moved away from my chin and to my arm, the other hand followed. His thumbs lightly rubbed my arms as we kissed. He pulled away, keeping his grip on me. His pupils were wide making his eyes look abnormally black, his breathing was harsh.

"What's wrong?" he didn't answer but kissed me again this time with more force, my arms snaked around his neck and his arms moved to capture my waist. He stopped and leaned his forehead on mine.

"What have you done to me?" I could see a smile appear on his face.

"What you mean?" I asked breathless.

"I'm meant to hate you but here I am. Your not even human, your nothing like me really yet I want you so much. I could never admit it to anyone, mostly because they'd shoot me but I don't know." I put my hand on his face, stroking his face lightly.

"I'm not that different, humans are the closest things I've ever seen myself too. Why do you think I'm here my," I tried to think of the human term. "Councillor as you would call it said I'd suit being here." He laughed at me.

"You had a councillor, is it a crazy person we have here?" I nodded.

"I was considered somewhat crazy as I expressed issues which were not heard of in my species. Sort of a taboo to talk about really." He kissed me lightly and looked at me with questioning eyes.

"What "taboo"?" I smiled a little before answering.

"About this hosting thing. I expressed a worry for the true souls of the bodies, saying aren't we being hypocritical. Stupidly of me I expressed my dislike to a seeker, she decided to slap me and said I was being hysterical and a need to be restrained. In my world any disagreement with how we fixed the universe was wrong. Not that it happens a lot, to be honest it was a first from me." He looked shocked by my story, the some look the seeker gave me.

"You thought this was wrong too?" he signalled to my body, I nodded. He kissed me and smiled. "You do have a little human in you." He led back and pulled me with him. He stared at me again, a smile wide on his face his eyes full of thought. He kissed me again but this time I pulled away. "Stop, just stop."

"What's wrong? Why?" his arms went around my waist and pulled me close.

"Because I'm not, and you are and they will, I don't want to make your friends hate you. I care about you and with me I'll just ruin everything for you" he laughed at me, apparently my somewhat rejection didn't phase him.

"Ruin what? My life living in a cave, hiding from you souls. Just cause I like one of you doesn't mean that they would ruin my life. Just cause everyone wants to kill you doesn't mean they hate you. Well maybe some do but they don't know you, your human just a bit more," he paused. "Parasite like." He smiled as if this was a complement on some human level.

"I'm still a parasite, I'll never be human. I'll never be like anyone here, I'm them out there the enemy. Everything your fighting against, everything which has turned you into cave dwellers. Why are you defending me? I'm giving you a way out of this, just kill me and get it over with. One less parasite to deal with." He hugged me tightly, he didn't let go for a while. I wasn't sure if I should say something or move, he just stayed still like statue. I carefully stroked his back as if he would break under my touch.

"Why are you so open to death? I know your not happy here but I can try and make the most of it. Help you through this kind of stuff. I did hate you the most, not because of what you are but the way you made me feel. I just wanted it to stop, the way your eyes just stared in awe it was heart breaking." He kissed me lightly , he had tears in his eyes.

I didn't understand humans their emotions were to complicated, love and hate were almost the same emotion. The same amount of passion just on opposite sides of attraction. I wasn't sure about anything anymore, every belief and everything we knew about love and emotion was wrong. We knew nothing. We felt nothing. We were hollow carcasses compared to these creatures, we were nothing. I wanted to know why I had been given this chance to be like them, something more, and something completely different.

"Thank you." I didn't want to say anything else, nothing more nothing less.

"It's getting late, I think. Why don't we get some sleep." I nodded, I wanted to stop thinking for a while. I was tired and exhausted of this whole turn of events. He led on the old mattress and beckoned me over.

We led in silence for hours, alone. We didn't move nor talk everything was dark and silent. I liked the silence, I didn't feel the guilt of being a monster or a part of a monstrous system. I felt almost a peace for once in my pathetic existence, not even my home planet gave me this kind of peace, but here with this violent human, everything we were against was everything that made me alive. I was beyond messed up, what my society would think of me now.

"Are you even sleeping?" his hushed voice broke me out of my thoughts, I didn't move as I was afraid he would move away from me.

"Not really, just thinking." He turned me so we were face to face, his eye looked bloodshot from crying. I watched a small tear dance across his face to his chin, before it got any further I wiped it softly with my thumb.

"About what?" I looked away from him, I didn't know how to put my thoughts into words for him.

"I wish I was human." I looked to see his expression, I didn't know this emotion which he displayed. He had a slight smile but his eyes looked confused.

"I can't see why, you wanted to destroy us." I sighed, he wouldn't understand. "I'm sorry, I guess I should try and stop that." I nodded silently. "But you can sort of see my point; I am living in a cave because of your body snatching invader friends." I tried to sit up so I could just get away but his arm pushed me back. I still didn't look at him even though something inside me just wanted to be in his embrace, I pushed those silly feelings aside.

"They're my family, no matter what they do I'll still love and accept them as you would do for yours." He laughed slightly.

"Don't you get it, they're not your family. Here is your family, here is your home, here," his hand went over his heart. "Is where you belong. Your not like them your so much more." I was staring into his eyes, my heartbeat was at an unusual rate. His hand went to a patch of skin being shown on my waist, with a slight movement my body was against his.

"You wanted me dead." I forced it out of my lips as my breaths had become harsh and fast.

"I didn't know you then." His hand slowly moved up my side, his touch was cold but my skin was tingling with a sensation which made me catch my breath.

"What are you doing." His hand stopped on my ribs just below the ridge of my bra. He smiled and chuckled quietly.

"You don't understand what your feeling do you?" I shook my head. "How intimate do your species go?" it was a strange question but I answered without hesitation.

"I don't get what your talking about." His hand moved to my back and he pressed me to him hard, his lips crushed onto mine. I couldn't control what I was doing my hands went onto his chest tugging roughly on his T-shirt to bring him against me more. He laughed and pulled away from me, my heart sank as his touch lightened on me.

"That's what I meant by intimate." I had never experienced what happened like that before, we didn't touch each other and get these feelings. We didn't even need to have what these creatures call sex. That's when it hit me. I was feeling the first touch which lead to the sexual things which we didn't understand.

"This is all new to me." He nodded, he kissed my head and pulled my head close to his chest so I could hear his beautiful heartbeat.

"Sleep." With that word I did as he said. That last thing I felt as my mind drifted was the lullaby of his heartbeat.


End file.
